Work-Life Balance or Unbalance?

Everyone wants a magic formula to create the perfect lifestyle and to know they are doing things right.  If we just had this formula, then happiness and success would invade and take over our lives. Sure. That would be great. But there’s a good reason that no such magic formula exists.  The things in my life that fulfill me might terrify, bore, exhaust, or disgust others, and vice versa. The trick here is to find what works for you, your spouse, your family.  Why is this an important topic for those in education? Who we are, how we are, and what we do affects our ability to be our best for the students and staff we work with every day. And since I brought it up, keep in mind that my best, your best, and (insert your colleague’s name here)’s best will not look the same any more than our work and life dynamic does.  We aren’t the same, so we need to stop comparing and start finding what works for us as individuals, couples, and families.

Building off of my last post about finding your own joy, happiness, and fun in order to bring those elements to your classroom, take a few minutes to examine your lifestyle and habits.  Are you merely existing, make it day by day, just barely? Are you finding yourself content, miserable, overwhelmed, satisfied, bursting with joy and energy? (Time to self-reflect, folks.) Have you built something into your morning routine that ensures you’ll be angry, upset, fired up, pumped up, joyful when you get your students (for you elementarians–shut up, spell check, it’s a word…now) or first students of the day (for us high school and some middle school peeps)?  Yes, how you start each day matters. Figure out what triggers your negative emotions or attitudes and change anything in your daily morning routine that may feed those negatives.

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Unbalanced life.  Sounds wrong, doesn’t it? But maybe it’s the right way of thinking. I’ve seen a lot of blog posts and other articles surfacing recently about the power of failing in education and learning, the need to share failures instead of hiding them, and yesterday I watched a powerful TED Talk by Brené Brown where she weaves the story of her discovery that vulnerability in life was the key to courage, creativity, and more. Taking risks in education will involve vulnerability. It involves getting out of our comfort zones. I’m not going to hit you all (y’all) over the head with this concept, but if we as educators want to challenge your students, then we need to be willing to challenge ourselves. Every so often, I think of an area in my life where I’m clearly in my comfort zone, and I get out of it. I start small. If I see that I am constantly choosing to wear tennis shoes with jeans, (hazard of coaching), then I take a break from that zone and choose a different style of shoe for a set time (more than a day or week in length).  If I don’t like getting up in front of people and speaking, singing, presenting, praying, participating, debating, whatever, I make myself do it.  If you start rocking things in your own life, that will help you grow as a person and educator.

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My husband, son Ryan, and daughter Shalyn at one of our favorite spots to ride dirt bikes and 4-wheelers in Colorado at Taylor Park.

I don’t think of my life or lifestyle in terms of balance. I like the thoughts posed by Kelly Christopherson in his recent blog that challenged educators on this subject. He quotes Chris Brogan from his post on this subject (told you it was popular right now) in that balance is not what we should seek, but instead, we should seek to THRIVE.  As I read and pondered this, I realize that although my life is crazy and busy, it is how I thrive. I am now considering my life in terms of unbalance. My husband (tech director for my district) and I could beat some of you in a “how busy are you” contest, but I’m also sure others would beat us at this game. For us, busy is part of how we thrive. It keeps us challenged and unbalanced. We attend every school event we possibly can (EVERY school event we can, not just band, or just art, or just sports.), sing (me) and play lead guitar (him) in a local contemporary (rockin’) Christian band, hold leadership roles at school, follow our 11 year old son around on his travel basketball and baseball teams, currently assistant coach for two sports (me, but that means he has to attend softball and volleyball games and act as admin or field maintenance crew as needed),  sing (me) and play guitar (him) for our church praise team, and the list actually goes on. We are seldom home, but we enjoy this. We challenge ourselves. We put ourselves out there.

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Setting up for our first set at Silver Dollar City’s Young Christians Weekend, 2017. Clearly I’m talking. Par for the course.

The first few concerts (gigs) we did as a band were terrifying and exhilarating.  That probably pushes me the most out of my zone, the singing. It’s much easier in the car, singing with the radio. I’ve sung for crowds of a hundred or more, and sometimes that is less scary than singing for a small church crowd on a Sunday morning. But I’m glad I do it, each and every time, despite the fear, nerves, and mistakes.  There are and will always be mistakes. Vulnerability. It’s there too, and that’s okay.  Not fun, but it is necessary. For all of us. Take some time this summer to discover what pushes your comfort zone boundaries the most, then do it. See if you can create a lifestyle that helps you thrive as a human, then turn that energy toward your classroom, and turn up the heat. Let’s grow things: ourselves, our students, our colleagues. When you get comfortable with that, turn your energy toward the world. Turn up the heat. Rather, rinse, repeat.

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2 thoughts on “Work-Life Balance or Unbalance?

  1. Great post. Too often people allow their periphery vision to guide their actions – “What is he/she doing? Maybe I should do that? How can I do more?” – instead of focusing on their path. I like how you have explained your ‘unbalance’ as being Thriving. I continue to work towards THRIVING – being the best I can be and enjoying what I am doing, finding pleasure and happiness. With 8 children, I could use the “busy” badge all the time but I don’t want to – I want more than just being busy. Thanks for sharing how you and your family are embracing life – THRIVING in all that you do!

    Liked by 1 person

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